Willow...your post brought tears to my eyes...I wish that my husband had had the same reconigtion of the affect his anger had had on our relationship and the same passion to make a change...I just left him but our situation is a little different because my husband and I had also grown worlds apart in terms of everydays interests...we just became two completely different people ON TOP of being emotionally disconnected because of his reoccurrent anger. My only advice is this...be there for her emotionally, know that alot of her trust and respect for you has been put into question and that that colors the ways she behaves toward to, that just as you will struggle to find the reasons for your anger and modify your behavior that she will struggle with doubt. TALK, TALK, TALK, don't be pushy but be affectionate, tell her that you realize that your anger was a problem, tell her that you are willing to do whatever it takes to overcome that for YOURSELF, and then SHOW her by following through and by being understanding of her doubt when she does make it evident. (That I think will be the hardest thing because you will be making your best effort and she will still for a long while have a hard time believing in it.) BUT HAVE HOPE. If she is living in the same house with you and you really do make a positive change for yourself it will be impossible for her not to see that and if you were really in love, if what you had was that kind of enduring specialness then it will not die so quickly and completely. The road ahead will be difficult for both of you and my heart is with you. Good luck.