I am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much right now. Having a new baby at home is stressful enough as it is, in addition to the post-military pain and trauma you are dealing with. You mentioned that you didn't find any relief with medications. Are you currently in any sort of therapy?

It is not right for your wife to dismiss your fears and feelings. It sounds like she may be somewhat caught up in her own post-baby stress and might not understand why you aren't feeling well. I know this may sound odd, but men can suffer from post-partum depression. Did you know that? I sure didn't. Not until my own husband became depressed after the birth of our first child. I had the baby, went back to work after 6 weeks, but then he took 6 weeks off from work because of depression. I had a hard time understanding that and was admittedly a little resentful at the time.

A couple of things stood out to me from your post:

I will begin this sentence by saying that I am *not* a mental health professional, but from my own experience, this sounds to me like you may be experiencing a form of dissociation. Your inability to feel a connection to your son may be due to your mind's own defense mechanisms and is not any reflection of how much you care for him. States of depersonalization and derealization can leave you feeling like you are walking in a dream, or that you are not connected to your own body. It can make the environment you are in feel, look, and sound fake and very foreign. If this is ringing true for you, you may want to check out www.dpselfhelp.com . It is a good site, much like PC, but just for people suffering from these forms of detachment.

Another statement in your post has me concerned:

I will come out and say it: are you suicidal? If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself, please, please tell someone there who can help and keep you safe. Your children need you so much. I know how hard it is to hear our children's responses to our sadness. It hurts like hell. But kids are very resilient and your daughter will be fine, so long as you keep her daddy safe. If you feel like hurting yourself and your wife won't listen to you, go to the ER. They will listen to you. They will help you stay safe. If I am way off base here, I apologize...but it had to be said.

Whether your depression is from the PTSD or the new baby or just coming up as a chemical illness on its own....keep trying. I know how hard it is to go from medicine to medicine and not seem to get anywhere. I have bipolar disorder and it took me years to finally get the right medication. Give it another try. Maybe a combination of meds would work better than just one.
And therapy. Therapy is very important. Yet, I understand how impossible it all seems if you feel like you can't get off the couch. One step at a time. Most of all, hang in there. You'll pull through this. Keep posting here at PC - we're here to listen.