thank you all so much
first of all I wanted to see if you think it is a fair solution for me to visit any therapist and they would judge my future studies. I am so glad you don't find it a good idea.
I am trying to contact a free line of psychological help here in my country cause this is my greatest fear, specialist telling me that they can do what my mother thinks they can do.
Second of all, I can't support myself I have studied russian literature no one would hire me no one cares for that. It is more of a degree you are proud of having but it is useless, moreover no one would hire me in a big city to work at a bakery when I am not qualified with a diploma that shows I know what I am doing.
I tried serviing coffee or giving ad papers door to door but I have a rent and bills to pay so without my mother's help I cannot raise money for my studies and I am not suitable candidate for a loan since I own nothing. So she is my only hope.
And I feel like she owes me you know? It is not anger, just a calm thought.

@dragonfly2 I am so glad you can understand it is a culture thing I wanted to explain that, all Mediterranean countries have that, it is ruining children honestly. Too much pressure over this family thing I hate it.