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up until today or maybe yesterday i felt great. i not only felt like i could think clearer but that i could use my mind even more than most people could. ive also lost a lot of weight and started to feel a lot better about myself...
but basically all day today it seems like everything that normally just slightly irritates me and i just blow off and dont care about, enrages me.
i have a much shorter tolerance for irritation
also i feel hopeless. i feel like theres nothing i can do to help myself and i give up trying so much easier. i keep noticing things about my emotions that i remembered feeling the same way when i wasnt doing well with them.
to make matters worse, my own father already is telling me he thinks i should go back on my medicine. he has no faith in me at all it seems like.
it kills me inside. :'(
he told me this today. like i said, up until today i have been doing great and its not just me saying this. my mom and brother both agree, in fact they even said that i'm still doing alright today, but just the fact that my dad is SO QUICK to just give up on me...
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Your father may not be judging you - it may be hard to see you feeling badly or not doing well and he's just reacting...your body is probably still adjusting to the lack of meds...it might be scary for him to see this, and he's not thinking about what he's saying. You're his kid and he wants you to be healthy and feel good.
And you are being very hard on yourself.
As for success without meds....it's a tough road.
i'm coming off some meds - finished Seroquel almost 2 weeks ago and my dr said she'd take me off another one if i continue to do well. This is the 3rd time trying to get off of it - first time success - looking forward to that weight loss you mentioned! i also made huge lifestyle changes with work to keep me mentally stable.
I've been on medication for 20+ years. My husband notices the changes when i drop the doses and gets anxious seeing me have mood swings or tears...He just wants me to feel well.
It sounds like you have great support from your mom and your brother...give your dad and yourself a little more time - you only had one or 2 bad days....everyone has bad days, whether they are bipolar or not.
good luck!