You get an A on this one, GL. Good on ya, you done good.

OK, so on Monday, or Tuesday, or whenever, you go into that professor's office and tell her that you've been having trouble, and that you missed the exam. You don't need to tell her your life story to get through this, just that you've had some troubles and missed the exam. Tell you that you don't want to withdraw, and will she help you arrange to make up the exam? And then you go along with ANYTHING she offers you. Don't try to get a better time, or an easier exam. You ask her to help you make it up, and then you take the test. Even if you don't do well, it actually is better, and you can always withdraw from the class if that's what you choose to do, after taking the exam.

Studying for the animal physio exam? No, you don't get nuts and try to do a term's worth of studying in the next three days. That's the black and white thinking associated with Borderline Personality Disorder. Here's a good opportunity for you to learn about those shades of grey. You sit down and study -- sensibly. You put in a couple of hours, how ever many you would have put in if you were all up to date in your studying. And then you take the exam on Tuesday. If it's terrible, you can deal with that later.

Jobs? That's something that you don't have to think about until May. So, don't think about it.

If you must think about it, think about doing ONE of the things you've mentioned, and I'd say volunteer for one shift a week somewhere. What are your interests? What do you enjoy? What sort of science are you interested in? Maybe you could get a volunteer slot as a docent in a science museum, or something like that. (Or an usher at the opera -- wait, that's my fantasy, getting to go to all the operas....) But mostly, don't think about this stuff until May.

Right now, you know -- and you know that you know this -- that you can only address one of these issues at a time. Whether you get a summer job this year matters much less than passing your classes, so which are you going to put energy into? I'll give you a hint: you'll really regret screwing around on passing these classes.

Lastly, I think you're dead on about being too afraid to try, and that being part of perfectionism. That's what it sounds like to me, too.

So, here's your next assignments:

1. Go study.

2. What is it you think will happen if you try and don't do well? What will happen if you find out that you're not perfect? What would happen if other people found out that you weren't perfect? (hint: the earth will not fly off its axis.) What does being perfect mean to you?

The next one, which you're not ready for yet, is to accept that you're not perfect, and try anyway.

I'm betting you were singled out a bit when you were younger, as being smart? That can do it, you know. Kids who are singled out for being special, whether it's smart or pretty or just being loved by their parents, those kids don't have the great self-esteem people seem to think they should. They tend to be much more insecure...

Good luck, and go study.