That is a very difficult question.......many may not have anything to say, because of it's complexity. Which is understandable.

I had to think of this for a sec, and kind of set myself back into the state of mind I was in after my grandmother passed away from liver and pancreatic cancer. It was a very confusing time for me. I experienced giving life to my daughter, then seeing my Grandmother pass away 3 weeks later. It was a little tough to fathom, all I wanted was an explanation as to why this happened, who's fault is it, could I have done something differently, and was there a chance that she could have survived? I always asked myself those questions. I think it's natural for people to want to know what could have been different.

For awhile I was actually angry at my Grandmother. She was a chain smoker, and lived a very unhealthy lifestyle. I would say to myself, "if she valued her life, she would have changed herself". I'd also say, "if she doesn't value her own life how could she value anybody else's, like mine for example".

Now if I was to place myself in your mothers shoes, and I discovered something strange and abnormal going on down there, I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought. Then if it were to continue growing and changing, I think I would be in denial about it. I probably have considered it a cyst to. Some people react to those sorts of things differently. It's understandable. Vulvar cancer isn't as discussed of it's awareness like breast cancer is. Maybe her lack of knowledge on the awareness could have been the cause. You never can know.

It's okay to question what happened, and what her exact intentions were. I know her neglecting the situation seems kind of hypocritical, because of the way she reacted when your life was in question. But as a mother myself, I can tell you that my children's lives matter to me more than my own life.

This is of course just my opinion. Your right when you say this question could be a controversy. But that's what where here for, to be open minded.

I hope I could have given meaningful insight, and I hope you reach your peace, however it may be.

Desirae