First of all, don't worry about naming the problem -- the "diagnosis" really only counts if it leads to effective treatment, and you can get effective treatment without a diagnosis, so put your energy into something more helpful to you.

Like what to do about it?

Here's the thing: you say that you have a fit at the mention of a psychologist, and won't see one. Yet you want to get over this and improve your life. Well, the way to do that probably isn't staying in your parents' house and hiding from the challenges of life and of college, right? So you need to choose what you will do to make that improvement.

You can do the self-help route, but that allows you to stay in your house and work alone, whch really doesn't help you much. (Reminds me of a Law & Order episode, where a fellow with agoraphobia is found living in a hotel room. Seems he "was cured" of his agoraphobia by his psychiatrist, went on a little "vacation" to the hotel -- and then couldn't leave again. So, he lived in a hotel room across the street from his apartment, afraid to leave, but insisting that he was cured, as proven by the fact that he was outside his home.)

Truly, while there are some medications which can help you with the symptoms of what you're experiencing, the best thing for you is psychotherapy. There are many different models, and CBT might be helpful for you -- it concentrates on "cognitive distortions" and on behaviors, and tends to be short term and goal oriented. It's helpful for many people. Not everyone, though, and if I were going to advise you, I'd say find a psychodynamic therapist who can deal with family of origin issues, and maybe family therapy, as well as individual.

I know that it's frightening to think of doing this, but think about your choices:

1. Continue living this way, being miserable, unable to go on wiht your life, and feeling ashamed of it all.

2. Overcoming that initial fear of a therapist, and going through the difficulties of adjusting to therapy, with the end goal of being able to live your life.

Really, it's not een two choices, it's ONE choice: "do I make the effort to get past this now, at 20, and go on to school, or do I wait until I'm 40 to do it, losing 20 years in the process?"

Good luck to you, and remember -- this place has great resources for finding a good therapist in your area.