I don't have a very good T at the moment, and I think part of this loneliness is because I'm not in school. I'm not meeting new people, or enjoying life. Recently I've gone back to "collecting" online "friends" which really is just me bouncing around from person to person, generating a lot of attention but not making any attachments. I love attention, but as soon as I realize they don't really get as attached I get a bit lonelier.. Plus, me gathering lots of people to talk to is also starting to generate some hateful attention, and while a few days ago I didn't care because attention was attention, my moods are settling down, and attention is no longer just attention.

I want life to go back to how it used to be, where I felt wanted and loved and needed. I feel like I'm just another person in the background again.. and I hate feeling that way. I hate feeling like I've been forgotten, I hate feeling that I'm forgettable.