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Bless your heart ~ you're in a deep depression, aren't you. You should talk with your doctor and see what he can do ~ he might recommend an antidepressant temporarily -- and then refer you to a therapist for treatment. That would be the ideal answer. You need someone to talk to who has experience in this type thing.
Please talk to your doctor. He WILL help you. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee
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