Feeling scared tonight. Not sure what has triggered it. Feeling lost, alone, abandoned. Silly things can set me off. Like, my counsellor stopped sessions with me to allow the assessment by the psychologist to go ahead. She said I could email her and tell her how things are going, and I have, several times, but she hasn't responded at all. I guess I slipped into the habit of seeing her as a friend more than as someone with a job to do. I emailed David and Lorraine (friends who have been very supportive) to tell them how the appointment went, and they haven't replied either. I emailed the mental health team worker who is supposed to be my link last week and she didn't reply. She only works Thursdays and Fridays and I am finding that hard. I have asked if she and I can meet up this week to talk but I don't know what I want to talk about - I just want someone to listen. It's half term so I won't be seeing my colleagues at work (I am a teacher). My dr is off this week so I won't be seeing him either (I see him most weeks at the moment). It just feels like I am being abandoned, like I have asked too much of people and now they don't want to know me. At the same time I can't seem to reach out and check these things out with anyone. I mean, it seems so pathetic and part of me knows my reactions are skewed, but it still feels like abandonment, it still feels like a confirmation that I am unacceptable.