I know, but I wasn't necessarily looking for anything, I was just trying to have a little fun. Fun stopped when I realized I'm not the type of person to have fun that way.. I'm not really the type of person to meet someone and see boyfriend material. I'd rather meet someone, be friends and grow into it, but I know there is an over compensation here with me battling loneliness since I do this every time.. Maybe I'm just so used to commitment (and at the same worried about the lack of it) that's it's hard to get used to anything different.

I'm still young, so in the reality of it I should probably just not care and "live freely" as I constantly remind other people, but "living freely" has done absolutely nothing for me. All it's done is keep my brain open to remember things, it's not being filled with something new to help me forget.