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It’s getting worse, not the SI, I haven’t done that sense last Oct, but the urge to do so has hit an all time high, it’s more powerful now than any of the times I have given into it. I keep finding reasons to put it off for just a day or two, but I don’t know how much longer I can resist this temptation. I know part of the reason I have this feeling is that I don’t believe that most people in my life take my mental illness seriously, it’s almost like they think I’m faking it, pretending because I’m lazy (mostly my wife) but I do have a very good job, support the family, while she does the "home maker" thing (not putting that down) but it’s hard to hear about how rough she has it when I’m fighting with all my strength each day to get out of bed and go to work, not to mention I’m the one who gets our daughter out of bed, and then takes her to school, most days my wife does at least get out of bed before we leave but it’s not like she is doing everything and I’m just lying around complaining about my depression (and it’s severe).
I guess I’m just venting, just too many things to fight against know at some point something is going to have to give.
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“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
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