Ok, I just got home and I need to curl up in bed for awhile, but first...thank you for being with me in spirit. It went well, very well. I told T everything I wanted to, we talked about when the rupture started and how. She apologized for how she has handled it and she talked about her defensiveness in our last session. She said that when I told her that she needs to balance pushing for change with accepting me where I am, not where she wants me to be or where she thinks I should be, she "about went through the roof" and in thinking about it later she realized she became so defensive because I was right. She said that was one of the most difficult pieces of feedback she has ever gotten, and she thanked me for giving it to her.

We talked a little bit about my physical problems and the tests I have to do this coming week. That was hard and I dissociated so we didn't get very far into talking about what skills I can use to get through it.

Instead, we talked about the fact that I'm going to see U2 in 8 days.

In the end we hugged, again, and I cried on her shoulder, again, and I told her "I'm okay" and she whispered in my ear "yes, you're ok, you're ok"