Quote:
Originally Posted by turquoisesea
Do you want to talk about the relationship? Sometimes getting to the root of the sadness and talking about it can help you get through it. *hugs*
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Actually I do want to talk about it, but I'm worried it's going to be long.
I've been seeing this guy since February. We work together and also are in college at the moment (different schools) but we study together. I'm 28 and he's 33 so we both have just started college after being out in the "real world" for awhile.
The problem is I'm not sure if he thinks we are seeing each other or if he thinks we are just friends with benefits. I hope it is not FWB because I have never wanted t do that and it was not my intention at all. I think maybe from the start we miscommunicated with each other about what we were doing and that worries me a lot. We see each other almost everyday, I know his family, he's met mine, but I don't feel like he sees himself as being in a relationship. He thought being in one would distract him from school, but then he started texting and calling me everyday and now everyone at work thinks we are a couple. I'm not sure what is going on anymore and it stresses me out to no end. I've even been having nightmares about it.
Lately, I've come to the conclusion that he will never actually want a proper relationship from me and that is what makes me sad. The biggest problem though is that I am just assuming this and have not asked him. I'm terrified
to ask him because I'm scared of what he will say. My fear of his answer is stronger than my anxiety and depression that I am having from this whole situation. We are becoming really good friends and I don't want to lose him. If he says he doesn't want a relationship I don't know what I'm going to do. Why does he treat me like we are in one? He takes me out, buys me coffee and tea, we hang out as his house with his family, we've gone shopping together, we go for walks, we study almost everyday...is this not like couple things to do? He's not very affectionate though (unless we are in bed) and that bothers me. My definition of a friend seems to be different then his.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying
sorry your feeling this way! sending good thoughts your way...
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Thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by online user
Do you have a way of verifying if this new knowledge is true or not? Do you think just watching it over time will tell the truth? If so, you are OK to just wait and see. If it affects future actions or your part, you might want to be particularly careful, in case it's not true. Do you remember the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water?" Meant to not make too much of negative news...leave yourself an option of carrying on with the relationship if it's not true.
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The only way I can verify is by asking and I'm too scared! I know it is ridiculous, but I'm scared of scaring him away.