DID begins in childhood -

Child and adult in a room together. The child is being beaten and raped. Child sees no way out so imagines she is safe by dreaming up her mental safe place. to deny the rape is happening to her she imagines it is happening to someone else. That someone else that she is imagining.

The child believes she is safe in her mental safe place. Child that she imagines is being abused.

Child daydreaming is the victim not the attacker.
any memories that is stored separated as the child she is imagining being raped is the memory of the rape. The memory of a victim not an attacker.

Child grows up and has a loved one (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, life partner)

Adult with loved one is in a room. Their discussion turns into a fight. The loved one makes a move that reminds the adult survivor of the past rape either consciously or unconsciously. The survivor gets afraid and mentally escapes the situation by going into her mental safe place. The brain matches the movement with a separated memory. The woman automatically acts out that piece of memory from the past rape that the brain has matched the loved ones movement to. Since in the past the separated memory stored was an abuse memory the woman is physically unable to attack.

A person dissociated and acting automatically from the past pieces of separated memories can fight back only if they are first being attacked and only if that piece of memory contains the memory of fighting back during that past rape.

Attacker memory pieces is one of the myths of DID, and is widely dramatized in the media for science fiction movies and fictionalized television shows and murder mystery books,

The fact that DIDs are unable to just attack other people is one of those things that is not normally disclosed to the public because it is one way that professionals are able to tell when the person does not have DID.

So in order for a fight back memory piece to attack your husband he had to have been hurting you.

Tell him to back off and it won't happen again.