Vett dude - what are WE? Don't you call this support? We've been supporting you for months about this particular issue!

But yes, when it comes down to it, we ARE all in it for ourselves. I learned that also when I was involuntarily divorced. But hey - why should it REALLY be any other way? It's one of those survival of the fittest things. And now that I've been through what has hopefully been my worst, I wouldn't have it any other way. Relying on yourself is the best policy, IMHO. Anything beyond that sets you up for guaranteed disappointment. But about your ex.... the thing is, you're not asking for just a little support from her. She knows that you have given her the power and responsibility over your happiness, and that is a LOT of pressure on her. It might seem like you are asking just a little... but in reality, you're asking for much more than you are admitting to yourself. My ex-husband acted and I think felt the same way your ex-girlfriend does -- after he had decided that he wanted out, he completely cut off all communication. After 6 years, a wedding, and expecting a lifetime together, you can imagine that it hurt dreadfully. But damn if I was going to continue letting him have the opportunity to hurt me AGAIN by asking him for support, especially since it was pretty clear that he felt very guilty about what he did. But I think I've told you this story already. End result is that nobody likes being reminded of their guilt for having hurt somebody else.

You're still in so much pain and I feel awful for what you're going through, Vett. You didn't answer me about what type of help you are getting for yourself. Your focus needs to be on what you need to do to heal from the grief.

We are ALL going to be a-ok!