greenleaves, read my signature line. think about it. you never know what another poster is going through. just like alex. she cares for you but she is struggling also.

try getting out of your head for a little bit and step away from the computer. go help someone else do something. anything. dust for your mom. walk the dog. and don't come and ask me for more suggestions of what to do. this would be an exercise for you to do on your own.
pat