People come to a community like ours for numerous reasons, probably too many to really list here. But the main reason is that people come to a place like this looking to get support for an issue in their lives.

What that means varies considerably from person to person. "Getting support" could just mean they're looking for advice or guidance about something going on in their lives. For others it may mean getting an answer to a specific question. Still for others, it may mean something else.

One of the things I think that most of us believe, however, is that we come here looking for that support in order to feel better. That may mean us changing something about ourselves or in our lives in order to feel better. But I suspect for many, change is a much more difficult issue to face in and of itself and many come to a place like this not necessarily to change. That can be frustrating to some of us. We see someone engaging in what we view as clearly unhealthy behavior and don't understand why that person doesn't want to or seems incapable of change.

I'm writing to ask that we take a step back and remember that a part of not dealing with change is often tied directly into one's issue. That not everyone can see the things we see, nor is everyone ready to change even if they say they are. It will be frustrating, I agree, but it's also just the way things are. I can't ask people to only post about very specific things, or become a member only if they are willing to change today. I have to be patient and trust that when somebody is ready to change, they will see it is time for themselves. I can't rush that process along, or "force" people to see things my way.

I write all of this to ask that if you're frustrated with any particular member within our community, you either cut them some slack and let them be, or put them on ignore. I know that's not an answer that sits well with everyone here, but it's the only tool we have available when we don't want to see or engage with another member of the community here.

Best,
DocJohn

PS - Please note that I mentioned no specific member, nor any specific incident in writing this post. That's on purpose. This isn't about any particular member or any particular issue, nor do I want it to become a thread about such.