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I have found that the "being hurt by someone" nearly always works two ways.

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Yes, me too. That's why I tend to keep more distance in all my online relationships now. I've learnt (I hope) from previous mistakes that it is when I get too close that hurt happens. So I keep healthy (for me) boundaries.

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some situations repeat

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Yes. The "fool me once" comment above is about that. Not about individual relationships where hurt has happened but about my general rules for being online.

I was just trying to explain how I try to avoid abandonment issues for myself, as well as trying to give an alternative perspective on what might be happening for you.