8 years old put back the notebook that I - 26 years old - put in the bag - so we went home without it! When i (26 years old - the formal "walking" person) - got home to parents` and searched for the bag (REMEMBERING CLEARLY that i put it in the bag!!)

So i was searched and searched AGAIN.... with a feeling of warmth growing within me, and from that warmth, as usual came despair, fear of abandonment and plain guilt that came against my anger - making me even angrier. All of those were familiar.

" Yes i am guilty i did it i am sorry" - said a voice inside my head. it came right inside from that feeling....that warmth that shame that fear..."Yest i was afraid that you will abandon me"

So many times in my life, it happened that I put things somewhere - but then didn`t find it there! SO MANY FREAKING TIMES!!! now after going through that process - i see.....

When my T said that maybe it can be DID.....

The warmth was there, because he was hugging me...but the feelings we shared felt so horrible...well - we just agreed that he doesn`t touch my stuff...

I feel those children locationally....they`re sweet...and they hold horrible experienced that now no one remembers...and i never did....

well....this is the sum of it....

I had A LOT with dissociative fuge alters - but - i can gratefully say that those returned to their natural place...more or less....and are going there step by step...more and more......