My son is 16, an only child, bright and introverted. He gets along with adults and has had trouble in the past at making and keeping friends. He goes to a small school and in 8th grade he decided to sit with the jocks because he played football and it was the group he felt that he fit in the best. One boy that he knew from grade school started to talk behind my son's back to get the other boys to dislike my son. Instead of dealing with this kid ( he is very small and mouthy), my son chose to ignore him and the talk. Eventually all the other boys sided with the mouthy boy. Even though my son stopped getting invited to parties with these kids, he still sat with them at games and school functions which infuriated the mouthy boy.
My son eventually started hanging out with other boys and was building friendships with some of them. The popular mouthy boy ended up in some of the other boy's classes and started bad mouthing my son again. This time, even his friends of 2 years stopped talking to him and started to talk about him. They also are starting to drink alcohol and they know that my son is totally against it, (which we're very proud of) so that makes him more "lame" in their eyes.
Because of his school size, no one wants to hang out with him, it's like "the kiss of death". Even kids from neighboring schools have "heard about him". Everyone has excuses and are busy when he calls. He still goes to parties when he's invited and continues to converse with the kids that bad mouth him. He refuses to confront any of them and when asked about the situation he always says "I don't care".
We thought that it was a self esteem issue, so for the last 9 months he has been taking MMA training (Mixed Martial Arts), which he loves and his trainer said that we don't need to worry about him and self defense. He is also quarterback of his football team. We're really proud of his determination, his maturity and loving nature. He's a great kid. My husband is tired of kids talking behind his back (never to his face) and wants him to stick up for himself (but he doesn't push the issue with him). He feels that he's too naive and trusting. I'm just totally at a loss at how to help him or if he needs help. I can tell that he misses his friends but he doesn't talk much about it. There's a philosophy that states....What you think of me is none of my business.... I don't know if this is what he's doing. He knows that we both love him and are here for him. I really wish that we could do more.....