Thank you sadmum, yes, thank you, happens to me too. I have done the forgive process over and over, and I know exactly what you mean. It does often give others and excuse to dump more on my, or actually permission.

Now for example, even my husband, well I had a lot to forgive, but he still dumps.

I understand the daughter thing too. I have a friend and I forgive, but she doesn't and she clearly has hurt me and refuses to even acknowledge it.

Even my neighbor, well I tried to forgive his tresspassing in the past. Well, I paid an ultimate price for that. I tried to forgive and build on that, wish I never had.

So, I know exactly what you mean. Now somewhere here is this word called BOUNDARIES. Well, I have tried to set them, they are constantly broken. I was told by a friend to just walk away from bad behavior, I replied, I have tried that, and people just follow me. My friend didn't believe me and one night she really hurt me verbally and I didn't deserve it, so I walked away and went to my car. She followed me and verbally abused me more. I drove home severly triggered, this was supposed to be my friend. I have been a supportive person to her and that is what she wanted, me to give, give, give. I really miss her, its pretty sad, I tried to call her yesterday and it took less than 30 seconds for her to tear me down. So, if I say I forgive her, whats that going to mean, I have done that, but that doesn't work, I dont know. I have even tried to say, I forgive you but your behavior upsets me, please don't do it, it doesn't work.

And when that happens I am supposed to forgive? Ok, it lifts a spiritual weight, I can understand that concept, but I have yet to have any length of time to appreciate that weight being lifted, I get it again.

I have looked for every way possible to forgive in my life, and I have really been stepped on in so many ways. Yet I still try to lift that weight. And to be honest, I am in hiding, can't take anymore. One can only be just so forgiving you know?
And that boundary thing? I have been broken down to a lot sign making because people dont understand what that word means, no matter what I seem to do.

Yes, I hear you. And I clearly don't have the answer. I have set up boundaries legally now and thats not enough. I have no tresspassing signs torn down and someone who comes and tears down my projects that he doesn't like, and even when BOUNDARIES ARE CEMENTED IN THE GROUND WITH FLAGS. And I have signs all over, it doesn't work.

So, I don't know what to say here. I sure would like to lift that weight. But it isn't working.

Open Eyes