I've just started a series of psychology assessment sessions. This week was the first appointment and the psychologist had me doing lots of questionnaires. In the couple of days since then I've been realising (a) how deep some of my core beliefs go and (b) how skewed they are. That's to say, if other people held them I would see them as skewed, but for me they just feel right and natural, the way the world is.

I had to indicate how far a number of statements reflected my own feelings. From this I realised that I believe:
It's my job to make people happy.
If people are not happy it is my fault.
I will never measure up to expectations; I am never "good enough" and never can be.
I am convinced that those I care about will abandon me.

At some level I have been aware of many of these for some time. But it's like they are official now. I don't know what to do about them. I'm very much a "doing" sort of person and I can't see what to do. I feel like a failure because I have donea lot of CBT work over the years but it hasn't changed these deeply held beliefs. I don't know how to change them or even if I can or should.