I've been cutting myself every once and a while for the past four to five years. It doesn't come up much and I usually do so out of boredom, especially since I have this strange obsession with my own blood and inflicting pain on myself. Not sure why but it's something, as you could say, I consider 'fun'.

I cut an old bruise open today and as I was messing around I began to wonder if what I was doing was wrong. Surely it's unhealthy and I shouldn't be doing it but I've found no true reason to stop. I don't do it often, maybe once every few months or so, and since I have a high tolerance for pain, it doesn't bug me much.

However, I haven't taken much consideration into how it could be affecting my physical health. Putting emotions aside, I've actually cut myself the same knife (an x-acto blade, to be more precise) in order to reopen and further infect certain wounds. I do this for the pain, which I suppose is my ultimate goal.

Strange thing is, I can't find a reason for this. I doubt it has much to do with my life at the moment as I'm pretty stable, emotionally, and most things are going pretty well in my life.

Could anyone explain to me further what it might be? Or anyone ever do the same? I'd really like to know since I...don't know if I want to stop.

Thank you all for listening!