wow..i'm sorry for what you're going through man.... i understand the feeling of wanting to tell yet being scared of the outcome for doing so... look im 21 and my dad still beats the crap out of me... it's not going to change unless you tell someone that you need help....getting older and stronger doesn't mean that the abuse stops, it just means that it gets humiliating to actually admit to yourself that you're actually let it go on and accept it.... you're young ardmore, you need to try and find help...you're brother is in the wrong for doing what he is doing to you man...i mean he could actually kill you if he leaves his hands on your neck for too long... look i know it's scary and well emberrasing but you really need to find help ardmore... the abuse is not going to go away..no matter how old you get..you guys are close in age so that's why i say that... go to someone you trust ... please ardmore... you don't deserve to be going through that type of abuse...tell someone...