My husband and I have been married for 16 years. I have recently realized that he's been addicted to porn, probably for at least 20 years. Before we were married, he convinced me that he didn't feel comfortable having sex before marriage. I initiated our first intimate moment. He rarely initiates sex. After we were married, we had sex about every 3 weeks. Now, I'm lucky if we have it every 2-3 months. I have to ask, and then he'll say "maybe this weekend"; like he's doing me a big favor. I know. It's my fault. I should have caught on before we got married, but I didn't. I love him very much, and he's a fantastic husband in every other way, other than sex. When we do have sex, it's awkward. He does what I do, except he won't do oral. Which is okay. I don't mind. Some guys don't like it. He doesn't like kissing, and has told me so. That hurts my feelings. When he does kiss me, there's no emotion or intimacy. He seems guarded, and doesn't seem to want to do it. He has saved lots of porn to 2 different laptops and hides it under the bed. For a while, he was sleeping in the guest room, and looking at it a lot. He said that I was making noises as I slept, and he couldn't sleep. He masterbates to the porn. After I made a nasty comment about him not sleeping in our room anymore, he came back. He acted all apologetic for a while. He uses Viagra to help him get hard, although doctors have told him there is no medical reason why he should need it. I think it's because he's desensitized because of all the porn. I've noticed he uses the Viagra more on his own than with me. I think that's very strange, and I feel like he's cheating on me. The porn he saved on his computers is locked, so that I can't see the pictures. I'm worried about what they might be. I'm pretty laid back, and he knows naked women wouldn't offend me, so I'm thinking what he now has saved must be pretty bad. He won't talk about it. I've shown him an article about porn addiction, and he said he'd stop. He told me recently that he hasn't looked at it for weeks. Now I found out he looked at it 4 days ago. I don't want a divorce. Any suggestions? Do you think counseling would help, or is that a waste of time?