What I'm getting out of it is someone to drive me where I need to go, sometimes where I WANT to go. He does do some of the heavy work, like outside putting in some cement on the driveway side of the house, putting all the crap into the storage shed, laying a patio on the other side of the house, sometimes he does as I ask him putting up drapes, hooks in the ceiling, reaching food he's stashed in the top cabinets and stuff. Most of all, I know that if something happens to me, I can either yell or ring him on his cell. MAYBE he'll hear. He's good at coming when I drop something to see if it was me that fell or not. Just don't know if it's worth the price I have to pay. Feels really steep these last few days. Then there's the kid/grandchild thing. I feel like he and my boy's wife are doing all they can to break the bond and keep us apart. They're almost there! Tomorrow is John's birthday. Jerry is going over to their house but I'm not allowed.

And there, I'm stopping before I freak out.