It certainly sounds like a really tough place to be in, atg. I can understand how it would be upsetting. I do feel that you being honest with the other person is the best step to take. Along the lines of, "x told me that you... and I'm confused" COuld you do that? If not f2f then perhaps by letter or email? I don't know,b ecause this is not a situation where I kow the other person, but it strikes me that anything is better than you tearing up inside as you clearly are. It would give the other person the chance to explain their actions too - maybe they need to aplogise for them, or maybe they have very good reasons for it.
What ever you decide, know that I am here and listening.