ladymacabethadmunsen,

I was in my twenties when I went through the worst of it. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what. I let them treat me for depression for a long time before getting up the courage to tell someone what I was actually experiencing.

Back then it was like a screaming match with lots of anger and threats. I thought I was going mad.

In a sense it is You doing it. The psyche is amazing and it's job is survival no matter what it takes - even to break off the parts that make us feel angry and sad and scared, and allow a stronger more able part to deal with what we couldn't because were too young to understand or cope with what was going on at the time.

It is important to make friends with all your parts. Life gets much easier once you can do that. This may seem quite impossible when they seem to be so angry all the time. But it can be done with time and patience. Even today, I still say nice things and thank them with little treats for helping me when I needed it the most.

I came to see them less as the enemy and more like a bunch of squabbling siblings. There is still disagreements but a lot less anger and aggression.

For now try not worry too much about the lost time and the lost memories. Staying calm and working to understand DID helps to make things clearer.