I usually can block my painful memories, that's my only way to not crumble in pieces, so I can move on. I do not let myself go back in my pass, do not give myself permission to even think about it. I block and block. I did that when I was a child and as an adult I have kept on doing that. I block and block and even dissociate so I will not remember. Coping skill? I don't know. I just do it.

I don't have a T or anyone close to me to talk too about my pain or hurt. I keep things to myself and get angry at myself when flashback stop me from moving on in my present life.

I think that to talk about it when you have someone close to you that will help you deal with these memories, come to term with it, is excellent. It is the best way to do this. It is a way to heal and move on without flashback that will stop you here and there so you can reach a better tomorrow.

Right now my APD is in full blown but I know that everything you say is true.

Thank you so much!