I apologize for the length of this post.

I have received trauma to my head since I was an infant. An accident when I was a baby resulted in me being thrown down a flight of stairs, leaving me with a short-lived seizure. Growing up I was bullied and pushed around, often leading to violent attacks involving my head. On the schoolyard, for some reason, basketballs always ended up unintentionally colliding with my head after a failed shot to the net. As a primary school kid, I had a lot of trouble controlling my anger and often took it out on myself in bursts of rage - by smacking my own head either with my fists or by bashing it on a surface like a table or wall. These fits often occured while doing homework when I had trouble understanding the assignment. At 16, I was struck by a pick-up truck while crossing a busy street, which sent me soaring the distance of half a city bus. (Apparently I looked like a ragdoll being thrown across the street :P )

I have a feeling these traumatic injuries have affected my mood stability and personality - while the damage was minor compared to injuries suffered by others, I've always struggled in ways common to people with frontal lobe injury (I've only done minor research, I could be wrong about it). I've never spoken to a doctor about these events and never seen a neurologist about it, because it's never seemed like a huge issue to me until recently.

However, in the past few years (ages 16 - 20) my ability to maintain work and handle pressure has decreased. My ability to understand new instructions and ideas is decreasing. I'm prone to very impulsive behavior with money and eating. I'm severely anxious when not taking my meds religiously. Changes in my routine throw off my memory, making me forget to take my antidepressant/anxiolytic (Cipralex10mg). I recently moved to a new city and the change has affected my routine of taking meds. I am incredibly forgetful and am prone to quitting a job if I become too stressed and anxious about it. I feel I am very socially awkward; I have trouble making and keeping friends, often say inappropriate things in an attempt to make people laugh, and often mutter and stutter rather than speak loud and clear.

I have a history of depression and while my friends and family were aware of my SI since I was 12, I have not received, nor been encouraged to receive, any kind of professional help. It was not until this past September, after a summer of severe depression and serious suicidal thoughts and threats, that I decided for myself to talk to my doctor. She put me on Cipralex 10mg. I know I suffer anxiety and depression and I mostly believe that my history of being bullied, ignored, and belittled is the cause. But I'm starting to question if there are other causes, such as my history of injury to my head. I have overheard rumours that depression rides along in my family history but I am not sure to what extent.

I would love to hear any kind of similar experience, advice, knowledge related to my story, or any recommendations for professionals I can seek for issues related to the above. I've tried my doctor, who I do greatly trust and I do believe she is very thorough. But I don't know what references I could ask her for because I don't know what professionals I might benefit from most (e.g. neurologist, general psychiatrist, councellor, psychotherapist, etc.) Even though I can't be "cured" I would appreciate understanding what is causing these difficulties I've always experienced.