It may not be that your mother waited on purpose because she knew what it was. I had cancer in my stomach. No it couldn't be seen from the outside but I knew something was wrong. I couldnt keep food down, nothing tasted good to me, I was so tired, my stomch hurt all the time, eat it hurt dont eat it hurt. I knew this had nothing to do with my depression and it had nothing to do with my anerexia, I knew some thing major was wrong. But there was no way I was going to have it checked out. I even managed to skip out of a med check appointment because I knew my doctor would be taking blood tests. It wasn't that I didn't care - I had a much bigger fear driving me - I had been raped while in a mental health unit. Entering a hospital just to go see my friend after she had her babies sent me running for the nearest bathroom in feeling dizzy and panicy and the need to puke. How was I going to make it through whatever needed to be done in a hospital to cut whatever this thing in my stomach turned out to be. The thought and fear of being in a hospital was all consuming. I went from 155 pounds down to 108. My sons therapist was making comment of - dont exercise to much more you will blow away with the wind. My hair was falling out from lack of nutrician The DHS case worker was in her own world of either not noticing the bald spots and my being tired was absolutely estatic that I had lost so much weight and told me keep up the good work, my therapist finally told me "thats it either you go to this upcoming med check or I will take you. Something is going on here and you are dying before my eyes, and I am not going to let you go. So spill it whats going on?" I told her about what little I could remember of the rape and my fears of being locked up again. She told me if I went to the doctors and if it turned out to need more then my normal doctors help she would go with me every step of the way. No one was going to lock me up let alone rape me again with her at my side. I went to the next med check and my bloodwork turned up abnormal like I knew it would. a colonoscopy/endoscopy was planned. I flat out paniced and refused to go. My therapist made me schedule the intake appointment with the referal doctor. and on the day of the appointment she called and told me she was going to be at that doctors office at this time and if I wasn't there she was going to come pick me up and we would sit there all afternoon if needed but I was going to attend an intake appoinmnet with the gastroenterologist. The whole bus ride I was puking in someones plastic bag from fear. I made it through that appoinment only because of my therapist. then she was right there and did most of the talking needed to schedule the procedures. The day of the following three endoscopies and one colonoscopy that therapist was at my door because she knew left up to me that fear would prevent me from having the procedures done. She drove me to those procedures, sat in the waitng room and then was right there when I was coming out of the procedures. It was only thanks to her that I was diagnosed for cancer and went through the treatment for it. Otherwise I would be dead right now. A phobia like my fear of hospitals prevents millions of people every day from getting the treatment they need to keep them alive. It isn't that they want to die or are ignoring what is going on. When a person has a phobia they get physically ill to the point of passing out cold at just the thought of that fear, so they take care of themselves as best they can and avoid whatever that phobia is. To me my phobia of hospitals is like asking someone deathy afraid of snakes and spiders to stand in a 50 foot deep 3 feet wide dark pit with no way out with terranchulas and boa constrictors and rattle snakes that havent been fed and milked for months. I have an endoscopy in 8 months and I have already informed my friends I am not going to it. they all say well its a ways off, lets not worry about it until it comes up. They can not worry about it - me Im not going.