Hi Introvertguy,

You're not quite as introverted as you may think. You wrote to me, didn't you? *smile* Even though we wish for different outcomes in our lives, I really do appreciate that you took the time to write to me.

I suppose it may sound like Heaven to just not have to do anything other than watch tv, be on the computer, read....but after a few years of this, your brain is mush and you have jinxed yourself to not even being able to go downstairs to get the mail. Yes, I want FRIENDS, I want to be PRODUCTIVE, I want so much to be LOVED and to LOVE in return....and it would be nice to have a little kitty cat (like you have) for companionship and enjoyment as I can't really remember the last time I smiled or really laughed. Unfortunately, I think I would do harm to the sweetheart. My life of solitude would probably make my pet jump at every knock on the door, and the lack of sound in my apartment (friends over for drinks, chatting, laughing while playing a game of Scrabble) would probably cause my precious pet to forget how to purr. As well, I can't get to the grocery store and there are no deliveries here. When the cat food and kitty litter ran out, what would I do? If he got hurt in some way, how would I be able to get him to the vet? You, Mr. Introvertguy, are extremely blessed to have that furry relationship available to you. Plus you also have real live people that phone you and talk. I'm just....alone.

Thanks again for your post. I used to have a very interesting life and have been involved in many tough situations, but that all slowly ended. Over the years I went from being nervous in the grocery store to not being able to leave my apartment (even for the long nightly walks I used to love to take in the woods). SSRIs don't work for me. I have enough serotonin. NSRIs work GREAT, but either I can't stop eating or my eyes get so bad that I can't read. So I just use anti-anxiety meds and a beta blocker. They help some (my Klonopin dose is 12mg per day)...but they don't fix the broken human. For that, I need someone who BELIEVES in me and is willing to stick through the ups and downs. I would fight so hard to make him PROUD of what I am accomplishing for him. Oh well.....it is what it is. I'm glad you have a circle of friends and your pet. And solitude is great for awhile, but it is really overrated. Do you really want to be a prisoner? Nah.....it's much better to feel the breeze while walking with a trusted friend. I wish you all the best. And thanks again for opening up.

Hugs,
Sandy