I know what it feels like to be mad at yourself for eating too much. trust me, but i do have to say that i wish i had never figured out how to throw up. I used to wish that i could do it just as you are saying now, but once i found the trick i can't stop myself. sometimes i binge just because i kno how to do it and i feel just as guilty as if i didn't throw it up. plus, there are side effects that are very dangerous to your health. i never really took them seriously before but now i am starting to see changes in me that scare me. for example i can tell that my gums are starting to wear down and i am seventeen and have not had my period in over 6 months. It really does scare me and i want you to trust me, it doesn't always help to be able to throw up after you binge. You can't do it for the rest of your life (unless it kills you), so just skip that part of you life so you dont have irrepairable damage like me. I hate myself for doing it.