Hi Squiggle,

This is a lot of pain to carry around and it sounds very difficult for you - huge hugs!

I just want to respond to your last post first.

I want you ask if you trust your therapist and her judgement in helping you? My guess is that you do, at least most of the time and that you value her support.
If your Therapist thought that you didnt need help, do you not think she would make the decison to have told you this and probably discharge you long ago? But instead she sees someone who needs and deserves help and this is why she is telling you she is going to be there for you as long as it takes... which I think is pretty great and shows she believes in you and that she believes you deserve her help to feel better.
Also please remember that your Therapist is trained to do what is best for herself and her clients, so if she felt she needed a break between clients all she has to do is adjust the appointments times but she obviously feels competent to work with the timetable she makes for herself and her clients. You don't need to worry about this, honestly

I think for a lot of us self forgiveness is a struggle because we forget that actually we are only human and mistakes are a natural part of life....we all make them, theres not a single human on the planet that hasn't make mistakes. It's only by making mistakes sometimes that we learn.

As someone else said, we all make decisons that we believe are the best for us and others at the time we make them, we don't set out to get things wrong or make mistakes either, they just happen because we aren't able to look into the future and see if the outcome of our decison is going to be good or bad. If we life would be a lot easier hey?

take it easy hun