Squiggle, I'm working on forgiveness now too in therapy. I made the same huge, c**ppy mistake twice in my life. I am more able to forgive myself for the first time, when I was young and didn't know any better. But the second time is more of a problem for me. I don't know how I will work this out. I haven't given up, though, and I hope through therapy I can somehow come to terms with this. I am reading a book now that has a chapter on forgiveness. It is about forgiving another person, but I am hoping it may help me learn something about forgiving oneself.
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Originally Posted by Squiggle328
She tells me that I have to dig deep on this and try to figure out why I cannot (or won't allow) forgive myself for what I have done. She asked me, "What would your life look like if you didn't carry around so much guilt? You have carried this weight for so long that you do not even see what it is doing to you. How much better would you feel if you let this go?"
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To me, this doesn't seem that helpful. Can you ask her again for help with this? Maybe she can tell you some ways other clients have reached forgiveness. Telling someone to "let it go" without giving ideas for how, just seems kind of incomplete. She is the therapist--I think she must have ideas how to do this? I wonder if it would help if she looked at what you did and forgave you for it? Maybe it would help to hear your T say she forgives you. I don't know--just grasping at straws. I would like to hear her suggestions to you.
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Originally Posted by Squiggle328
She says that this keeps me stuck and we need to get me unstuck so that I can heal and move forward.
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Whenever I hear the word "stuck", I think EMDR. Have you tried it?