Sorry you have had such a rough time of things. I botched a suicide attempt at age 30 I think it was. Went on to divorce husband and established a pretty good life for myself. Suicide has been in the back of my mind, though, whenever I get depressed. I think of peace and calm with suicide. This all changed a few months ago. I was watching "Paranormal States" or a similar program. The host mentioned that many of the troubled spirits they run into are actually suicide victims. So, if you do murder yourself (my T's word for it), you may NOT find peace, but be in some kind of alternative space, very unhappy. I don't think it's worth the risk.

You have a lot of life ahead of you and you are smart, so you can grow and mature. Medical science may have ways in the future of helping your liver and brain recover from the damage. They are doing a lot of regenerative therapies with stem cells now.

Take things a day at a time and see if you can't find some more pleasure in life.