I wish I could help you shannanabot. I have been there way to many times since my early teens. Sitting there waiting for the right time the traffice would come by my house. Planning too many other things. I have been lucky that deep down I wanted help and the times I would try was done where someone could stop me.

I think online user has made a good point which came form T. Which I am now glad I have read of the troubled spirits were actually sucide victims. I would reconsider now if I came to this point again in my life. It is hard enough living with it here then to live with it in some kind of alternative space.

By the way maybe just posting here may help you let things out.