IMO that you block the thinking is good, since you don't have anyone right now (a T) to help you work through it. I wish for you to be more gentle with yourself, as it is your system causing the flashbacks, trying to figure out where to put them (we won't tell them, will we...) and you shouldn't be angry at yourself for something your brain is confused about.

No, it isn't the best system, flashbacks... they are truly horrible. But to allow yourself to be angry at yourself for them implies you are purposely causing them to torture yourself. NO WAY! Brain chemicals. Nothing "personal"... not your fault, not your "responsibility."

They just are, for now. When you do get one, try real hard to tell yourself over and over, this isn't now, this isn't happening now, this is in the past, I am safe, this isn't now.... (((safe hugs)))