Tara922,
Sorry to hear you are having a rough day. It sounds like you are doing lots of good things to take care of yourself in the midst of it.

One thing that helps me with those kinds of thoughts is trying to remember that thoughts are just thoughts, and feelings are just feelings... I can just let them arise and pass, and don't have to believe them or act upon them. I think of the thoughts as being like birds flying overhead... I just notice them as they come, but I don't have to latch onto them. I think this helps me because it keeps me from getting hooked into the content of the thoughts, or my story about what the thoughts mean, etc... As someone who somewhat chronically struggles with thoughts of death, this approach has helped me notice when I'm having the thoughts and take them seriously in terms of seeking support, but helps me not make my depression worse by getting obsessively worried about the thoughts, which is what I used to do. I'm rambling now... but I hope this makes sense!

thinking of you,
garden gal