someone who I trusted (almost trusted...) has completely invalidated me. After promising "the world" - stupid me to believe them I made one mistake.. really I couldn't have made any other choice at the time, and now I'm the "most terrible person, completely untrustworthy"
Rationally, I know they (also) have more than a few issues... I'm wondering if they have split me black.

Please note, this is NOT anyone from pc...(they have never been on pc)

Emotionally I feel less than a worm, a something, hardly human, who deserves to be squashed, until I'm ground down into the dust And those feelings are so scary, so overwhelming, that I'd rather rip myself into shreds than face them, and the childhood abuse where they came from.

(actually I have faced some of the abuse in therapy... maybe not all of it though)

Don't worry, I won't hurt myself (more) .. although I want to

ps I'm probably using it for all the reasons you mentioned..

does this even make sense?