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May 31, 2011, 09:49 PM
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Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 78
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whew, twistedmoon this is very difficult! my heart truly goes out to you. you have made it work somehow for years, yet now you seem to be feeling a gradual heating of the water, and like the frogs, you wouldn't want to get boiled! past approaches aren't working, no boundaries are being respected, and you really can't control another person who is wound up and aimed at everyone.
how do we help you? michael shed some light for you, whether he thinks so or not. "feeling injustice which he's inclined to relieve with hostile behavior." that is spot on. there may in fact be no real injustice against your husband, more he is projecting his own anger at life onto others. still he rants.
notice that michael as well as all of us want you to be SAFE. that is a basic human right. remember maslow's hierarchy of needs? none of us are exempt from these. so it can't do any good for one partner if the other partner is forfeiting his or her human rights.
start there, with the absolute bottom lines for yourself as you define them. what is truly a deal breaker for you? what lines will you simply not allow repeatedly crossed? then articulate those to yourself, your partner, and some trusted and wise friend or professional. then strategize how to keep the limits you set without engendering unnecessary conflict. it's a start. 
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