((((Ardmore)))) I've been where you are. Somewhat different circumstances but abuse non the less. I had the feeling of no matter what I do it's destined to fail. I desperately tried to strategize in my mind quietly what I could do differently or do better so I wouldn't get beat or yelled at. When I wasn't thinking of a strategy I was hiding to try and stay as invisible as possible. In the quiet moments I thought perhaps this was the last time. Perhaps this is over once and for all. I know what that feels like to be in survival mode and not try to make waves for fear of what will happen in addition to giving up all hope and feeling hopeless.

There are people on the 'outside' who can and will help you just as we are here supporting you virtually (I know that may be hard to believe right now). Your family is sick (especially if your parents aren't doing anything about this). You can trust that he will hurt you again only you may not wake up. Please fight for yourself. We are all hear to help you and offer support. We are cheering you on. Please, Please talk to someone outside your family and get as many people involved: police, counselor at school, child protection etc....

Sending a million hugs and comforting thoughts .