I feel like I've felt an underlying depression for most of my life. Do you think some people are born depressed, or do our life experiences do this to us? Maybe both. I know people who are in a constant state of happy--positive, happy, social butterflies. I don't know how they do it. Yes, maybe some of them are putting on a front, but even that is not something I'm able to do--for long anyway.

I lost my husband to cancer in February, which may just keep me from climbing out of my depression once and for all. Most times, there have been little "fixes" that bring me out of it for a little while. But I know it's fleeting because I can't stay feeling happy for very long. A lot of times, I just want to sit in a quiet room and do nothing. I have lost my motivation. I'm not a person who feels comfortable meeting new people or socializing. I prefer a few special people whom I click with. And I just seem to need to "happen upon them"--I don't want to go to the trouble to try to find them.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but just wanted to throw it out there and see what you all thought. Sometimes it helps me sort out my thoughts. Thanks for listening.