Clouds_and_sun, there could be many many reasons that these relationships are not working. For one thing, it may be hard to keep up an e mail friendship for people who prefer socializing differently. And there are lots of other possible reasons. Perhaps you can find a therapist to work with, and to discuss your social interactions with? Beating up on yourself isn't going to help; it will only make you feel worse and withdraw more. Most depressed people (including me, much of the time) think there is something essentially flawed about them - but that is the illness talking...