I was diagnosed about 5 years ago, when I was 27. I was first diagnosed with major depressive disorder, which made total sense to me. I had days (about 6 out of 7 to be exact) when I would just get so depressed that I would sit in the corner and cry all day. At the time I lived by myself. When my little brother moved in with me (he transferred colleges), I started to change. Along with the depression, I became angry. Every little thing he did and said set me off and I would fly into an uncontrollable rage. I would yell and scream at him all the time. This would then make me feel guilty, and after a bit of guilt, I would get depressed. I then would feel really stupid for letting it all happen in the first place, then I would get angry again. It cycled and cycled. I hated it. I could feel it bubbling at the surface, but I knew it would happen and there was nothing I could do. It was like I was sitting at a movie, screaming at the character on the screen to run faster or turn around, but they of course couldn't. I was that character and what was chasing me was outright rage. My pdoc diagnosed me with bp 2. At first I thought "Thank God. Finally it has a name. Maybe it'll stop." But it never stops. I realized that about a year ago. I thought that if I took meds for a while, everything would get better, and it did. While I was on the meds, that is. I stopped taking them for a year or two and I am back on them now. I can't not take them. I know that if I do, everything will go back to the way it was before and I don't want that. While I am taking my meds, everything is soooo much better. I keep telling myself "Well, you can take them for a while and feel the way you did before, or you can take them for the rest of your life and sometimes be normal." I opt for the second choice. I keep telling myself that only a few pills once everyday is better than living a life filled with hate and anger. I may hate taking pills, but my little bro is now my best friend, and I wouldn't give that up for the world. He's become my light. That's how I deal with my bp.