Well, my mom never got her needs met either. She never complained. She kept in the shadows. I never saw her get upset or angry even though I knew she took a lot of pills. Didn't know what they were back then, but they were antidepressants and meds for anxiety.

Maybe this is why she always seemed so calm? I feel that her needs were ignored. She was basically ignored in a family of 5 children who needed her and a husband who needed her just as much. we did not intentionally ignore her, that just happened with a family of our size. Mom took care of everything. That is just how it was.

Could I have learned this from her? Be quiet and keep to yourself? Do not ask for help? Don't let others see you cry? Be strong in the face of company? She didn't intentionally try to teach me that, but I guess that is what I learned from her. Never show your emotions. She never did. She always put herself last. I tend to do that. I guess I am following in her footsteps?

My therapist says that I always put myself last. I put the needs of everyone else before mine. Well, I kinda have to. Taking care of a quadriplegic spouse has to come first!

This is a hard question to answer. Who ignored me? Thinking back, in my first marriage I was ignored big time. He was quite arrogant and he came first. He did not spend much time with me and the kids at all. When I married the second time, I ran into the same problem. After this happens twice, you get used to being ignored.

That does not make it any easier, but this is just how it is. I do feel invisible most of the time. Except for when somebody needs something. But who doesn't feel like this? I cannot sit around and be a cry baby! Life goes on no matter how I 'feel'.