So sorry you are having such a bad time, Tara. So glad you went to the ER. It was the right thing to do. You KNOW it is your depression talking, to make you so upset you are thinking bad thoughts. You WILL feel better when you can get some "time out" in the hospital and get recharged to deal with things. You are a wonderful person and I think of you as a friend. I enjoy reading your posts and wish the very best for you. Here come my hugs: