thanks for the info. As someone who has never been in a relationship because of witnessing these relationships all my life I do understand why she wont leave. I am the only female in my family who hasnt been in a dodgy relationship and thats just becaus I steer clear altogether. My anger is really at the fact my family will do NOTHING. I will see it coming a mile away, point it out, nobody listens, then I listen to the bull **** excuses they have. I do feel a little better now, I did after a while find the humour in fact people were seemingly more panicked about what I'D do once I found out. But I do feel like everything I say falls on deaf ears. A few months ago I was lying in bed thinkin to myself that very soon another cousin of mine is going to have someone knock on his door and beat the crap out of him, with the past hes had. Unbeknown to me, at that very moment I was thinking that, someone WAS actually knocking on his door with a baseball bat and beat the crap out of him. I was told if I ever had thoughts like that to speak up straight away. Well I did, and sure enough this happened. So when I do speak up Im told not to, when I dont speak up I am told I should have.