Hi forgotten,
What your feeling is normal and you are probably thinking that by saying it, it brings it back somehow, and by not saying it, it keeps it away.

Ofcourse, wouldn't it be nice to keep it away? But the truth is that it isn't going to go away and the fact that you feel depressed and all the other things you have mentioned means that you need to find relief.

Now what is Relief? Well, it is kind of like coming out of a hiding place and someone says, "Oh I didn't see you there" and then you say, " I was hiding because I met some bad people and I didn't want to get hurt anymore". Then some one says "Bad people? where? I'll get them, thats not very nice, come and sit with me and we will figure out how to deal with these bad people so you don't have to hide anymore."

So then you start to talk and the other person listens and for the first time you don't feel alone and you begin to feel safer because your not alone. Someone is actually listening and they are very interested in what you have to say. So you talk a little more and the person still listens and the amazing part is they believe and they keep listening. And then you start feeling better, safer, because someone is actually listening. And for the first time, someone is really listening and they really want to help and you start to feel better, safer and you realize that you have found a way to talk and someone is actually listening.

It can be like a closet in a childs room and they are afraid of it and they want to keep the door closed. But then one day they have the courage to get someone to open that door and turn on the light and make sure whatever is in there cant hurt the child anymore. And then if the light is on in the closet and the child can see what is there, well they realize that it cant hurt then anymore and now they can rest better and be more at ease.

It is not unusual for you to feel anxious or even not sure. It is only when you sit with someone and begin a little at a time and realize, someone will believe you and you wont be alone anymore. And you will begin to feel better about it. It isnt all at once, it is one thing at a time step by step.

Open Eyes